Growing Down

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The growth that feels like backsliding.
It perplexes me.

The learning that is unlearning.
It raises so many questions.

I don’t feel profound or enlightened.
I feel afraid and unsure.
Like maybe I have unknowingly taken a wrong turn
and I am hopelessly lost.
But He says I am not. He says He is taking me home with Him.
That we are on our way.
But there are others coming with us
and these winding paths will take us to them.
I am lead in the dark and I recognize His voice
And I know His peace.
And I find evidence of Him everywhere I turn.

I didn’t like the cages that held me before,
But still, I wonder if I was safer in their confines.
Not safer, but more in control.

But what is a cage to control?

I feel as though I am resting, released to the Wind and carried
But I don’t know where it will take me
I am abandoned to it
I have chosen not to fight it- but would it make a difference if I did?
I am a part of Him now- I cannot escape Him.
He is every good thing.
In Him are fulness of joy and pleasures forever

The former things have passed away
And all things are new.

And yet I fear I am doing it wrong.
Like I should be kicking at the goads, striving.

But, I believe in His love.

I was found by Him in the depths of self-hatred and rebellion.
He came for me- against all odds. He is faithful. ALWAYS.
If He can do that, He can take a willing woman where He wants her to be.
I trust Him. I trust Him.
He will save me.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. mom
    Jan 21, 2014 @ 23:57:26

    God is for us. We can trust Him.

    Reply

  2. Beth Morey
    Jan 22, 2014 @ 17:42:10

    I love love love this artwork. And your questions. I am curious to know more.

    Reply

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